I go balls deep to answer the question nobody asked.
Ladies, has the wave of unsolicited crotch shots in your DMs dried up? Fellas, can’t enough of your member? Look no further than Bangkok’s Chao Mae Tuptim shrine for your phallic fix.
Sure, you can go to Bangkok to marvel at the Grand Palace and the enigmatic beauty of the reclining Buddha, but where else in the world can you find penis architecture of all shapes and sizes.
Nestled into a forest behind the Swissotel is a nearly 100-year-old shrine with over 100 penises. Talk about going balls-deep!
Some statues are nearly 6 feet tall. Some are coloured red raw. Some are shaped like pigs. Proof that it isn’t all about size.
Naturally this unusual landmark is a little hard to find. But I’ve got your back.
- Head to BTS Phloenchit and walk down Wireless Road until you see Swissotel on your left.
- When you reach the hotel, follow the road on right that leads to a car park.
- Here you’ll see the Khlong Saen Saep canal as well as a wooden spirit house. Continue down the shaft of forest and there you will find it.
Even if you get lost, the hotel workers will be able to tell by the guilty yet excited look on your face where you’re headed.
It’s quite hard to believe that just metres from Swissotel is this tribute to phallus, cruelly shielded from the eyes of their guests. This is a business move that will surely cost the company millions. Billions, if you ask me.
As we know, Bangkok is a city known to cater to randy men, so the tribute to the male form doesn’t seem too out of place. But it’s not all dicking around.
I was surprised to learn that many Thais consider the penis shrine to be sacred. It was originally erected as a dedication to fertility, a site where women would take offerings if they could not conceive.
I also read that the Chao Mae Tuptim is widely recognised as “one of the best examples of intentional phallic architecture” and I couldn’t stop this thought from penetrating my mind: Just how many unintentional penis buildings are there in the world?! Spoils for another day perhaps.